It’s a common phrase these days, a respectful nod when you encountering someone with a military backgrounds.

But do we really mean it? Do we really value the men and women who served their country? Or is it just lip service?

When I consider the number of veterans who die by suicide each year, I wonder if it’s the latter.

According to the 2023 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report, released in November, 6,392 veterans died by suicide in 2021, an increase of 114 from the previous year. Veteran suicides have generally trended up — slowly but steadily — since 2001.

Although most people remain unaware of this underreported issue, I learned in the most difficult way possible. My son, Ryan, a Marine Corps sergeant, died by suicide in 2017.

It was Memorial Day weekend.

Like many loved ones left behind, I wanted answers. Ryan suffered from PTSD, and had trouble transitioning to civilian life after he left the Marines. In those respects, he is not alone.

Suicide — whether it’s veterans, LGBTQ+ youth, senior citizens, or anyone else — is a public health crisis. In fact, more than 49,000 people in the United States died by suicide in 2022, a record high.

Veterans, the data show, are particularly at risk for suicide.

In comparison to the general population, which has a suicide rate of 18 per 100,000 people, the rate for veterans is close to double at nearly 34 per 100,000, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

Likewise, here in Michigan, the veteran suicide rate of 31.1 far outpaces the overall state rate of 18.1.

The disproportionate numbers crystalize the severity of the situation. But surrender is not an option. Fighting back is.

We must be brave enough to admit the problem, and loud enough to bring it from the shadows.

Veterans, by and large, are proud and stoic. Self-reliance and decisive action are ingrained qualities. Therefore, our message must be direct: Don’t go it alone. Be strong enough to seek help.

Improving and expanding access to government care and resources is among the call to action in the latest National Veteran Suicide Prevention Report. More than half of veterans who died by suicide in 2021 did not receive Veterans Health Administration or Veterans Benefits Administration services in the two years preceding their deaths. Enabling more intervention is a key step.

In addition to connecting veterans with mental health services, we must focus on non-clinical suicide risk factors like employment, housing and legal support.

Although veteran suicide is a complex problem to address, I’m encouraged that leaders in Michigan are taking more recognition. The current state budget includes $1.2 million for veteran suicide prevention efforts and the ongoing Veteran Connection initiative — which encourages medical providers and other human service organizations to specifically identify veterans — are signs of progress.

Since Ryan’s passing, I’ve learned that suicide grief requires a different path to healing and acceptance. That’s why I’ve made it my personal mission to prevent other veterans from a similar outcome.

Thanking a veteran for their service is a great thing to do. So is learning how to reduce their risk of suicide.

From now on, let’s prioritize doing both.